When a person you’re mentoring asks about your background, the reflex is to summarize your experience — essentially hand them a resume. Don’t. That creates distance, not connection.
What actually lands is your story — specifically the part of your story that sounds like what they’re going through. The moment when you were also figuring it out. The constraint that forced you to grow. The failure you didn’t see coming.
The difference in practice:
- Resume: “I’ve been leading worship for X years and I’ve led teams of Y people.”
- Story: “I was in a similar spot not long ago. I had to pick up guitar and bass out of necessity — no one else was there. I didn’t feel ready. I figured it out anyway.”
“I was in a similar spot not long ago” is a connection point. “Here’s what you should do” is a transaction. People follow people who’ve been through something, not just people who know something.
Why this matters more in Unificationist contexts
In FFWPU culture, there’s sometimes a reflex to establish credibility through position or seniority. It can close the door on genuine connection, especially with younger leaders who’ve seen that pattern used to shut down honest conversation. Story-first mentoring bypasses that dynamic.
Connected ideas
- asking-questions-earns-the-right-to-advise — earn the right to speak, then speak from experience not authority
- church-must-meet-seekers-at-their-real-questions — same logic at the evangelism level: lead with what you share, not what you know