Chapter 5 pushes a sharp relational claim: love does not originate in the self. It comes from the partner. That means a person cannot seize love as a possession but must receive it with humility, reverence, and service.
This undercuts narcissistic ideas of romance. If the spouse is the owner of the love I long for, then the right posture is not entitlement but living for the sake of the other.
The chapter makes this more than etiquette. It presents the whole ethic of self-sacrifice in marriage as flowing from the fact that love arrives from outside the self.