The book repeatedly contrasts two postures: understanding and convincing. Understanding holds two realities at once and asks what another person is experiencing. Convincing tries to win the argument by erasing the other person’s experience.
That distinction explains why conflict often worsens when adults become more logical and explanatory. Being right can leave the other person feeling unreal and alone.
This travels well beyond parenting. Pastoral care, marriage, mentoring, and leadership all deteriorate when the need to prove replaces the work of understanding.